inspiration

Fresh, processed and regurgitated

simmerinme — Fri, 07 Mar 2008 13:47:01 +0000

Try to guess what my topic is about.

Give up?

All are descriptions of food..

And all those types I smelled from my sweet sleeping babe. It’s 4am (2/29/2008), I just gave her milk and while cuddling her, I got a whiff of her natural scent: a bit of fresh milk, some fresh fart and a hint of vomit. She had her regurgitating show just when hubby arrived home at about one in the morning – while we were asleep (including herself). Poor babe, she inherited my allergy. I think the weather is causing this, same with my nausea lately….

… Maybe I can market this new scent. My target buyers would be moms with all kids grown already. It is not really yucky smelling and I know I will miss it someday… like I miss how my baby was fully dependent on me…

5 minutes of my life

simmerinme — Fri, 22 Feb 2008 05:03:59 +0000

while reading somebody else’s blog, i remembered that i have some stories to tell, too. i’m getting the blog lazy bug again. we don’t want that, so here is one story:

I’m so so nervous for tomorrow. i have never done this public speaking thing in my life. it will be only 5 minutes of my life – that’s what i keep telling myself. and also that the audience really wants me do really good and not fail….(now my nervousness is translating into my eating. i am eating my lunch while writing this and that means i keep shoving food into my mouth even if i haven’t swallowed the food i initially spooned into it…swallow, drink water.. breathe in, breathe out) i remember being in a poster-making contest and science quiz bee when i was in elementary school. in high school and college there were group contests (math jingles, sabayang bigkas, Christmas carol contest, Indakan etc.) that we were forced to join. but i have never tried or even considered joining individual public speaking, dancing, or singing contests. i am inherently shy. well, some would disagree, but i think what they currently see in me in the result of years in the industry. i had to speak up and at times i have to spill the overflowing emotion . (which by the way, i am still learning to control. – i once informed a superior about another superior’s wrongdoing with a shaking voice and tears gathering in my eyes.. darn i’m too emotional. anyway that’s another story.)

i blame all of this on my writing skills. after all, i am actually more of a writer than a speaker. hehe this was the second time i joined the company’s internal speech contest. you would have thought that i would have learned my lesson and not join again this year, but as my mind thought of a topic for the required morning meeting speech, it didn’t want to be denied the glory. ahihi if you notice, as my posts go, i am a very personal person . i write what’s on my mind, what happened to me. i can’t be blamed if i am a deep-thinking and interesting person (or atleast some things that i think are interesting happen to me) heheh actually, i’m just trying to lighten the mood here. i’m still really nervous about tomorrow’s performance.

as i was saying, this was my second time. the first time, i won a special prize award and the prizes were a mickey mouse stuffed toy and a set of japanese postcards. i actually envied the basic level second prize which was a set of origami books and paper. hehe (hi terree ) but i didn’t plan on joining again the next year. but i guess, fate had another plan. our senseis kept harrassing me to think of a good topic and to join. i didn’t resist too much since i had no one to divert their attentions to. i even got myself a talent manager (just for fun), who actually just used me to keep the onus away from him. (hi wich! ) so come the 2008 internal contest, i bagged the second prize which includes a floral set of a PC mouse, mousepad and CD album. the prizes are sooo for me, what with florals and the colors (yellow mouse, orange mousepad, and red CD album – all of which honda-sensei picked out. )

i thought my public speaking stint would end there. but then as the internal contest winners, we were required to join the manila contest. i was actually contemplating on it. it was enough for me to have won in the internal one. i didn’t need to personally torture myself for more public exposure. but i succumbed and went to the elimination contest (with only the 3 judges and fellow company contestants as audience). i was sure that i wouldn’t get in, coz i was really nervous and i kept looking at my cheatsheet for hints of what to say next. i thought it was over..but it seemed that they were willing to overlook the nevousness. they really liked my topic. darn you good writer, you!

anyway, so tomorrow is the day. i hope i survive it. coz it feels like my heart was going to burst when i do my trial speeches within the office. i have my speech memorized, hopefully i get to finish it without any hitch. God bless me!

oh, wait, it’s not just 5 minutes, they have a question and answer portion….:-S Manager, please help!!

the paradox that is love

simmerinme — Thu, 07 Feb 2008 01:24:12 +0000

dear elaine,

as i was saying, real love asks for nothing in return but is needy still. it’s like the person cannot live without the one she really loves, like the distance between them is tearing at her heart. it is a need that when unprovided becomes the “total agony of being in-love” ★ at the same time, real love is very unselfish, it would give as much as it can give..but yes, it is bounded by the capability of the person who is giving…it is then very helpful (or lucky) that when 2 hearts really love, they willingly give and are happy to receive anything that the other are able to give them… they are content with what is provided since it came from the one they love..they are content because in the first place, they ask of nothing..and when the love is reciprocated, it is all they ever need.

★(……as I wrote on paper a while ago i realized that i have been out of practice, because it was a bit tiring for my hand already, writing that short note..but i do miss handwritten notes… and that note made me inspired to write on the computer)

[blog entry on 5/8/2007 - i believe this was a continuation of one of our daily conversations while walking to the office...]

don’t get lost

simmerinme — Thu, 31 Jan 2008 02:04:32 +0000

I came to realize something after talking to an officemate in the CR..I asked her how her project was, instead of how her lovelife was which was what I really wanted to ask her. I hesitated since I don’t know if she would want to confide in me..I have read her blog site and clearly she was not having the best time with her lovelife..anyway her problem, according to the site, was that she regretted saying no to a long-term assignment abroad to nurture a new relationship since that new relationship turned sour even before she came home after a 1 month business trip..hmmm…

What I realized was this: one must not really do everything for our gf/bf relationships to the point that we do things we don’t really want to do. Why do we do this? devote so much of our thoughts on the relationship we are going to leave behind and make them interject in our decisions about our careers, our lives? Well, I know it is hard because we want to fight for it and do our best not to ruin it. by ‘it’, I mean the relationship we believe is the ONE. And then the harder we fight for it and give our all for it, the more painful it gets when it crumbles down again..

When you think about it, if that relationship is really for us, it would still be there after that long-term assignment. it would wait patiently in the sidelines, until we’re through with our game. It supposedly shouldn’t be selfish and think only of it’s needs, it will let you grow and be there when the timing is right.. Well, easy for me to say, some would say, coz I have experienced my happy ending to the search for the ONE.. Yep, I was so glad it waited for me, while I learned my lesson about love and about myself. I just hope everybody else will be able to sit tight and just wait for it to come. coz it will come, cal, one way or the other. And all we have to do to prepare is learn the right lessons that the last relationship gave us.

P.S. About 6 years ago, a friend ask me what she should be afraid of when in a relationship. I said, be afraid of losing yourself, the real definition of you should not be lost just for your relationship…everybody should remember this.

[blog entry on 2/26/2007]

nudity clause

simmerinme — Thu, 06 Dec 2007 02:45:43 +0000

Warning: If you’re my hubby (hopefully you know who you are ), you would be against the contents of this post, so stop reading now.

         WILLIAM
  You actually have clauses in your
  contract about nudity?

         ANNA
  Definitely. ‘You may show the dent at
  the top of the artist’s buttocks — but
  neither cheek. In the event of a stunt
  person being used, the artist must have
  full consultation.’
      – Notting Hill

And so as a movie star, I am now considering the nudity clause in my contracts. ahihi…..

Ever since I gave birth, I have been lax with these things inside my house..upto a degree of course. I mean you sort of lose a part of yourself (like dignity) when you are in the labor room and the ob-gyne, nurses, pediatrician, anaesthesiologists have seen where your baby came from. Anyway, they’re looking at it in the clinical sense. And then you come home and you need your episiotomy stitch to be regularly swathed with ointments (which of course you can’t do alone – for whatever pride you may have in you), so for me, I let my mother-in-law do it (my hubby goes to the office). And then you breastfeed at home, so people inside the house get to see a part of your milkers. All in the non-malicious way of course.

As young children, my sisters and I, even at one point with my brother even, take baths together. In college, I took a bath with two of my thesis-mates (girls of course) in school. We were in a hurry since we did not want to be late for our presentation. When I got married, my mother warned me to not show myself nude to my husband. She said something about men getting turned off by it…I believe I just rolled my eyes at this..heheh

Anyway, this morning, as I was finishing my throne duties in the bathroom (I do it in the nude, as afterwards I will take my bath), the door opened and in comes my father-in-law not yet looking up, so he hasn’t seen me. I tried to say something but was speechless so I gave up. Anyway, when he saw me, he doubled back and got out. I can just imagine him getting really embarrassed about it. It was no biggie for me. It just made me wish even more to have longer hair. I’ve always wanted (especially now that it’s so fun to tease my hubby about it) to not wear a top and be Dyesebel.

Someday, I promise, I will be Dyesebel .

uncovering the pot a little :D

simmerinme — Wed, 05 Dec 2007 02:57:03 +0000

my polar bear twin and I went to divisoria yesterday..yes! on a weekday, in the middle of the day! ahaha and what’s more great is that it was an Official business trip. (if only all OB trips are that nice…) we were tasked to buy the stuff we need for the outreach this coming saturday (at the friendship home of father amigo – 36 elem school kids). we bought items for the loot bags, prizes for the games and game materials. we had fun..we browsed and we haggled and we dragged heavy bags of goodies (shopping is so great! ) …terree was amazed how i could carry such heavy bags but i said when you become a mom, i guess you get additional energy. when we arrived at the office, i even helped miss ann prepare the loot bags and we finished them all. (we let T go home and rest) i didn’t feel the fatigue until i was home and i was glad that my beautiful daughter was already asleep..only to find out that she would be waking up soon (since she just slept at 7:30, which was supposed to be her afternoon nap) oh my golly! i thought: i wouldn’t be able to take it. someone else would have to play with her until she goes back to sleep…..so i asked my hubby to do it and tried to sleep while they invaded the house. i’m not really sure if i had slept, coz i know i hear them in my ‘sleep’. i woke up at about 1am to try and make the babe sleep. i was even tricked to go to the bathroom (she can do that by saying she’s soiled her diaper already). once there, all we did is get her pee-filled diaper off and get the display star clock (display only coz it broke and we only kept it in the bathroom as entertainment for the baby). back in the bedroom, ruthy doesn’t want to put on her new diaper. she then proceeded to play with her toys. a few minutes later, she hovered in front of the toilet trainer, sat down and peeed on the newly placed puzzle mat. now, you’d think she would want to put on a diaper..well, we are mistaken. anyway she let me put it on her after a few minutes later and i saw the small wishful yawns from her, taking the feeding bottle we offered she nestled into nainai’s arms to rest …and we slept happily ever after.

until it was time to go to the office again and since i was tired, i walked a little slow today and was late.

all in a day’s work for a working mom.

oh how i miss blogging…

happy new blogsite to me!

~~planned beginning of post: i think i’m running out of patience… this J* person is pushing it… anyway, it’s not a good first blog post topic. so let’s change the subject…~~

*not his real initial